50 Ways to Troll Trump

  1. Impeachment.
  2. Cabinet declares Trump is “unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office” .(Amendment 25 of Constitution).
  3. Supreme Court reverses decisions on rulings favouring Trump.
  4. Prosecuted for corruption.
  5. Gaoled for abusing powers of office.
  6. Exiled to North Korea
  7. Holidays in Venezuela, Gaza, Iran and Cuba.
  8. Mar-a-Lago gifted to Mexican people (it’s Spanish after all).
  9. Nobel Peace Prize given to J.D. Vance.
  10. Air Force One replaced with a renewably powered electric tricycle.
  11. Melania leaves him.
  12. Ivanka disowns him.
  13. Every other woman in the world declares that he is incredibly grotesque and that they would rather sleep with a donkey.
  14. Special operation to remove heel spurs.
  15. Enlisted in US Marines (but left permanently in boot camp).
  16. Epstein files about Trump released.
  17. Epstein memo leaked revealing that Trump’s sex life too disgusting even for Jeffrey.
  18. Special 1000 per cent import tariff on all of Trump’s consumables.
  19. Time Magazine declares Trump is dumbo of the millennium.
  20. Tax files released.
  21. Windmill put on top of Trump tower.
  22. Mar-a-Lago covered in solar panels.
  23. Trump forced to wear special photovoltaic suit that gives him an electric shock anytime he insults anybody.
  24. Trump made to wear extra long necktie that continually trips him over.
  25. Trump made to wear specially tight Florsheim shoes that give him heel spurs all over again.
  26. Made to sleep in White House ballroom with leaky tap dripping on his face.
  27. Putin declares that Trump is his favourite KGB agent.
  28. Netanyahu reveals that Trump works for Mossad.
  29. Kim Jong Un announces that Trump works for North Korean Ministry of State Security.
  30. Iran reveals that Trump is a honorary member of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard.
  31. Viktor Orban says that he would rather Trump didn’t help him.
  32. Javier Milei says he would rather deal with Xi Jinping than Trump.
  33. Giorgia Meloni says that Trump has bad breath.
  34. Nigel Farage reveals that he is a more powerful bully than Trump.
  35. Emmanuel Macron dit que <<Trump a une poignée de main incroyablement faible.>>
  36. Entire Media stops reporting anything Trump says or does.
  37. The whole world sues Trump for damages for ruining their holidays.
  38. Doonesbury stops cartooning Trump because too boring.
  39. “Shithole Countries” gift Trump with a pile of shit.
  40. Marco Rubio afirma que ya no puede trabajar con alguien tan tonto como Trump.
  41. Pete Hegseth says Trump too timid and he can’t work with him anymore.
  42. Pope excommunicates Trump.
  43. Dalai Lama expresses sympathy for Trump’s impending reincarnation as a cockroach.
  44. Anthony Albanese ditches AUKUS and buys Chinese drones instead.
  45. Special Trump Barbie voodoo doll is released with pins to stick in it.
  46. Everybody who else who has ever been insulted by Trump says that to respond in kind is beneath them.
  47. Iran declares Strait of Hormuz open to everyone except Trump.
  48. The word Trump becomes a disgusting swear word worse than “Fuckin Strait”.
  49. Trump is completely forgotten and never mentioned again.
  50. The mythical fairy tale of the Ogre T-rump is told forever after to impressionable children to make them behave.

Musical coda: 50 ways to leave your lover

And: 50 ways to leave the White House

Allegra for Treasurer

Who would be better at managing the economy? That’s what Peter Dutton is claiming the upcoming Australian election is all about1. And this question has been rattling around for years, suggesting that your choice is simply between a Labor government or a Liberal-National Coalition government2.

My answer is: neither of the above. The economic polices of both of these parties are humdrum and lacking in vision. While not entirely ruinous, there are problems at the margin. Labor takes your tax dollars and then dribbles them back in such things as temporary electricity rebates. The Liberal-Nationals are even worse, promising to spend your tax dollars on atomic power stations that will never ever lower your electricity bill. Neither party has any vision of how to improve productivity and economic growth.

Allegra Spender, on the other hand, has been tireless in searching for an economic agenda that is rational, progressive and built to last3.

The best things that we can hope for is that we keep the Coalition out, and that Labor loses just enough seats in this election that it has to negotiate with some of the truly adult members of the Crossbench. And Allegra is one of the shining examples.

Allegro!

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  1. https://www.facebook.com/PeterDuttonMP/photos/this-election-is-a-choice-about-who-can-better-manage-our-economy-and-keep-austr/1197954985019636/?_rdr
  2. This question has been the subject of countless media articles and even scholarly essays. See for example, Raja Junakar discussing this issue in ‘Who is Better at Managing The Australian Economy: Labor or the Coalition? https://australiainstitute.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/DP79_8.pdf
  3. https://www.allegraspender.com.au/cost_of_living_1

By the way I am fed up with AI rejecting my proposals to generate images consistent with this content. All the time I am getting responses like: “Content wasn’t generated because your prompt includes wording that may be in violation of Designer code of conduct. Please change your phrasing and try again.” AI is just another censor of what we are allowed to say.

Making China Great Again

Doonesbury archives


The greatness of the USA is a relatively recent phenomenon compared to the greatness of China and it may well prove to be relatively short-lived.

1916 was the year when USA became pre-eminent – the year it surpassed the British Empire in GDP. In turn, the British Empire surpassed China sometime after 1800 at which time China had been a great power for many centuries but became relatively weakened as British technology skyrocketed and became absolutely weakened by scelerotic leadership and by British and American drug pushers of opium.

Which country is up for the next round of greatness? Will USA stay pre-eminent or will it be a resurrected China? There are no other single countries that could remotely approach these two behemoths in terms of economic power. Europe taken as a whole could compete if it could get its act together but right now that looks unlikely, so it’s pretty much USA versus China for top dog.

At the moment USA is still dominant but looking shaky. China’s nominal GDP is still only about two-thirds of the USA (20 trillion US$ compared to the USA’s 30 trillion US$).1 And the USA still has many strengths of course. It leads in all things relating to informatics – not the hardware so much as what you do with it. It leads the world in atomic and aerospace weapons, space technology, medical technology, and has 19 out of the top 25 universities in the world.

Where the USA is looking decidedly shaky is in its ability to generate further real growth. Not just because USA is currently being led by a moron whereas China’s current leader is definitely not a moron. Not so much. The movement in the relative greatness of these two countries depends rather more on some very basic facts.

China has a clear path to further growth that it absolutely controls, and that is through increased consumer spending. Currently, only about 40 percent of China’s GDP is accounted for by consumer spending . China’s consumption has nowhere to go but up. China has the capacity to satisfy this demand (subject to the importation of raw materials like iron ore from abroad) and the imposition of tariffs by USA on Chinese goods suddenly creates a situation of excess supply that China can easily divert to internal consumption. Mostly, it just requires the Chinese government to loosen the fiscal and monetary brakes it imposes on the economy. Inflation is not a problem here – currently China is in deflation mode.

The situation in the USA is the opposite: consumer spending is about 70 percent of the economy. USA has been living beyond its means for a long time while the rest of the world has been willing to lend it money. Not only is US saving and investment relatively low but USA has been running a trade deficit for nearly thirty years building up massive debts. A bedrock for this ability of the USA to run a trade deficit is the willingness of other countries to treat the US dollar and US loans as the basis for world trade and savings. This bedrock depends on other countries viewing USA as dependable, not subject to political shenanigans. That seems likely to change, and not for the better.

What about the future?

China is already the world’s manufacturing powerhouse. But now it is focussing on foster “industries of the future” including embodied AI, which is crucial to developing humanoid robots, biomanufacturing, quantum computing and 6G technology. It also aims to facilitate breakthroughs in virtual reality, advanced computing and open-source RISC-V chips. 

In comparison, USA has a lot of weaknesses: it is full of rust, both in its industries and its people, incomes and wealth are extremely unequal2 , there is gun violence, drug usage is high, there is a low level of social cohesion, it has overweight people living unhealthy lifestyles, and is increasingly becoming unwelcome to immigrants.

USA used to glorify brainy people and for a long time imported them by the shipload, but increasingly they are being devalued and denigrated.

China, on the other hand really gets Education: there are currently one million Chinese studying abroad (although not all will necessarily return home). China now has 18 out of top 200 universities (somewhat behind USA and UK but is catching up). And China now leads the world in scientific publications.

I think that there are some negatives for China: it has an ageing population, it is under a Communist dictatorship, and is currently relatively insular.

USA, under Trump, is planning to match all of China’s negatives and then some. It is becoming a dictatorship where the rule of law no longer applies. It is turning away from the rest of the world and by shutting its borders likely to turn into a negative population growth country. It wants to resurrect steelmaking, aluminium smelting, oil drilling and timber production. All of these industries produce relatively low value products yielding low incomes. The flip side of this is that USA terms of trade become worse – by importing less low value produce it must mathematically export less produce of high value. It won’t just beggar its neighbours, it will bugger itself.

Meanwhile China, under Xi, is more focussed on leading future technological developments and is moving away from self-sufficiency to become a world trading nation – importing raw materials and exporting high value-added products.

Who will win this? The way things are going, I’ll bet on China.


  1. Nominal GDP is the correct measure of dominance here, not GDP measured by Purchasing Power Parity (in which China is ahead). PPP gives a more correct measurement of living standards internal to each country but would distort the measurement of that country’s ability to deal in world trade.
  2. USA inequality Gini index is 41 (against 35 for China).

A Tax on your Tweets

C’mon Albo, you called the Orange Ogre and asked him very nicely to exempt our steel and aluminium from his tariffs. He said he would give your request serious consideration but then next day said we had broken our promise to voluntarily restrict exports of aluminium.

What bullshit!

Albo, you’re a rugby fan. You know what to do when someone plays dirty. Get him in a scrum and kick him in the goolies!

Don’t call him, make him call you. Here’s how:

  1. A Tax on those Tweets. How about a dollar per character, Elon?
  2. A Tariff on Tesla, of course. Let’s have a thousand dollars for every kilogram of steel and aluminium contained therein, Mr Musk!
  3. A Stink on Starlink. Say you’re going to start a Campaign on Gumnut or some good old Ozzy Social Media against the “thought waves” being beamed down from above. Say you’re going to shoot down a few satellites. So there, Mr Illegal Immigrant!
  4. Amortise Amazon! 25% tax on transactions! Bezos to you!
  5. Face-off with Facebook! $100 per session! You’re a Sucker Zuckerberg!
  6. Cancel AUKUS. Say we going to get our underwater baguettes from France after all.
  7. Say we’re going to develop our own Search Engines! Sorry, Google, a tariff of $10 per search will be required to finance it!
  8. Say we’re going to develop our own computer software. Stiff Microsoft! An excise on Windows Revenues.
  9. Subsidise Taylor Swift! Invite her to sing to the Australian Parliament and promise that you’ll cheer!

It’s not at all hard to think of ways to get back at someone who is being so gratuitously rude to us. Our retaliation doesn’t have to be particularly rational or measured, just think about who’s actually running the show over there and hit them in their hip pockets!

When they call and ask what’s up. You know what to say. The measures are irreversible, of course, but you’ll delay their implementation temporarily while you check on their behaviour.

Now you’re talking the language he understands.

(H’mm. AI won’t generate an image to go with this post. I can guess why.)

Don’t pray for me Donald Trump please.

With all kinds of horrifying news coming out of North Mexico I want to send a message to the guy who is pretending to be in charge of this shambolic chaos.

I note that thoughts, prayers and blessings are routinely offered up by La Casa Blanca for people suffering from disasters.

I would like you to stop that. Particularly if anything should happen to me.

Please, please don’t pray for me, sir! Don’t even think about me!

It’s not that I’m actually a Christian, but hey, if I were, I don’t think that you would be effective in interceding with the Big Guy Up There.

My reason is that I figure that You Are Not A Christian!

I’ve checked.

Christians are humble and selfless. You are anything but.

Christians believe in Christ and follow his teachings. You don’t.

Christians are righteous. Nope.

Christians serve others. You serve yourself.

Christians are kind, compassionate and forgiving. You are not doing well here.

So, I figure I would be better off if you don’t intercede on my behalf.

Thanking you, but not yours

Another small example of greenhouse policy heading the wrong direction

There was a heatwave on the east coast of Australia yesterday and demand for electricity for air-conditioning while cooking dinner and watching television hit the roof in the late afternoon.

Between 5.30 and 5.40 pm last night the NSW wholesale electricity spot price hit $17.50 per kilowatt hour. 1

At that same time, we were sitting comfortably at home in our properly insulated house with 10 kilowatt hours of life in our home battery being left unused.

If we had an EV with vehicle-to-the-grid technology we could have an additional 72 kilowatt hours (that’s the average2) of electricity stored up and waiting to be exported. But what the heck? The tech isn’t ‘approved yet’.3

We have a smart controller attached to our home solar electricity system and are able to supply excess electricity to the grid on demand.

But there was no demand for our juice. Rather, any electricity that we export to the grid is paid a measly 8 cents per kilowatt hour.

That is a $17.42 difference between the price that we would be paid and what it is worth to the grid.

You can argue what you like about margins and I don’t know what else but that is a gap too big to be ignored.

What is more, the government has put in place a system whereby we can be charged a tax for having the temerity to export electricity to the grid. 4

Meanwhile, our Minister for Climate Change and Energy, Chris Bowen, declared “mission accomplished” in predicting that 2030 greenhouse gas emission targets will be met. 5

I’ve got news for you Chris, you haven’t accomplished anything yet, and you are not even trying. And the last guy to declare mission accomplished left an incredible mess behind.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

  1. Source: Australian Energy Market Operator: https://aemo.com.au.
  2. https://ev-database.org/cheatsheet/useable-battery-capacity-electric-car
  3. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/article/2024/jul/09/electric-vehicles-ev-cars-australia-energy-grid
  4. https://repositpower.com/blog/the-solar-tax-has-arrived-now-what
  5. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-11-27/bowen-declares-mission-accomplished-on-2030-emissions/104650730

How good are the cross-bench at economics?

The current Parliament of Australia has 17 members on the cross-bench of the House of Representatives. That’s a record number in living memory and potentially influential if the Labor Government were somehow to lose its majority, currently at 3 votes.

If the Parliament were hung (and I fervently wish that this were the case) then one or more of the cross-bench would need to provide Supply and Confidence for the Labor Party to continue to govern. Or, if all the cross-bench got together, (highly unlikely) they could then support an alternative Coalition Government.

What difference could they make to Australia’s economic policies? And could there be an improvement in the (currently abysmal) making of economic policy?

Well, they could make a difference. One only has to look at the effect that independents had on the last hung parliament: the Gillard Government of 2010. Admittedly, things didn’t end too well, but during its term this Government had an outstanding record of positive policy implementation including: introducing the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS), the Gonski funding, the initial rollout of the National Broadband Network (NBN), a mining tax and the carbon pricing scheme. Right now, if we still had a mining tax and a carbon pricing scheme it would go a long way towards getting us out of economic difficulty.

The kinds of improvements that I would be looking for are as follows:

  1. Much more urgent and focused action on decarbonisation of our economy and investment in renewable energy (our number 1 economic and environmental problem).
  2. Moving to a balanced-budget situation over the economic cycle. Given that we are currently running a perpetual deficit, this requires either increased overall taxation or a reduction in spending or both.
  3. Greatly reducing the currently high level of inequality in wealth and incomes. This would require a whole suite of policies aimed at taxing the rich and giving to the poor as well as finding ways to get disadvantaged people into secure, well-paid jobs. It would also require better (more equal, better funded) childcare, aged-care, education and health systems.
  4. Improving decision making in infrastructure funding. Ending the pork-barrel of doling out government money aiming to buy votes.
  5. Dismantling monopolies and oligopolies, or at least, better regulating them. Ideally, a number of industries should be renationalised, or at least have competitive Government involvement, starting with the electricity grid.

Who on the cross-bench would be most likely to support such economic reforms?

Well, on point number 1 there are fourteen members of the cross-bench who are pretty vocal about getting real action on climate change. That’s a pretty large number. Only three members could be considered lukewarm or cool towards climate change issues. They are:

  1. Dai Le, the independent member for the electorate of Fowler in Western Sydney. Her main priorities are stated to be reducing the cost of living and getting down unemployment.
  2. Andrew Gee, the independent (formerly National) member for the electorate of Calare in Central West NSW. He is all about “getting runs on the board” ie. government largesse for his electorate.
  3. Bob Katter, the independent member for Kennedy in North Queensland. Bob does have some positive ideas. For example, he is in favour of a national energy grid and removing any taxes on bio fuels. However, he doesn’t appear to be seriously concerned about climate change and is dead against carbon taxes and mining taxes.

None of the above three decarbonisation recalcitrants are likely to rush to support a Labor Government in need of supply or confidence, seeing that they tend respectively towards Liberal, National and Katter views of the world.

On point number 2, budget balance, there are about eight members of the cross-bench who have some proposals aligned to achieve this objective. These are:

  1. The four Greens: Adam Bandt, Stephen Bates, Max Chandler-Mather and Elizabeth Watson-Brown, representing inner-city electorates in Melbourne and Brisbane. The Greens are not shy of making everyone pay their fair share of taxes.
  2. Allegra Spender, the member for Wentworth in Sydney’s posh Eastern Suburbs. Allegra is forthright in talking about about GST, income taxes, stamp duty, and capital gains tax, and the urgent need for tax reform.
  3. Kate Chaney, the member for Curtin in Perth’s comfy south-west. Kate recognises that our tax system is complex and requires reform so it is fit for purpose.
  4. Zoe Daniel, the member for Goldstein in Melbourne’s upmarket Bayside. Zoe notes that there have only been tweaks and no major reform since the introduction of the GST in 2000, that Politics killed any consideration of the Henry Tax Review written in 2009 and that, a decade and half on we need another clearheaded broad-based review. 
  5. Kylea Tink, the member for North Sydney, long a stronghold of independent-minded electors. Kyle advocates more holistic tax reform, taking pressure off personal income and broadening the tax base including adequate review of PRRT. (I am not completely in agreement with this stance, but I give credit for recognising the problem and agree that it is one way to go.)

On point number 3, reducing inequality, the Green Party stands out as having the most positive ideas for dealing with the issues. The Teal independents generally are strongly in favour of equality for women and protection of minorities but are a bit quiet on other inequality issues. Zoe Daniel deserves a special mention for her stance on the Stage 3 tax cuts for high-income earners and for her policies on housing and HELP/HECs. Andrew Wilkie has strongly progressive views on education, employment, house, health and social security.

On point number 4, improved decision making on spending, quite a number of independents are unfortunately vociferously in favour of electorate-based pork barrelling. Andrew Gee is a standout champion in this regard, with Rebekha Sharkie not far behind. The Teals and the Greens however, are not at all greedy.

On point number 5, Bob Katter takes aim at the supermarket oligopoly and wants to renationalise Qantas. The Greens are against the big corporations and want to Government to take direct control of housing, healthcare, electricity, transport and education. Most of the other cross-bench members tend to be rather quiet on these issues.

Some combination of Tealery, Greenery and a splatter of Katter, would be greatly beneficial to Australian economic policy making, enlivening a current d0-nothing dead zone. The worse thing that could happen would be if Labor were to cut a deal with one or more members greedy for pork-barrel projects for their own electorates and ready to forget about their other professed concerns.

As a summary, I suggest that the Greens have the best overall economic policies. Some of the Teals: Allegra Spender, Zoe Daniels, Kylea Tink and Kate Chaney are strong on tax reform. Zali Steggal, Sophie Scamps and Monique Ryan make useful suggestions. Andrew Wilkie is fairly quiet on economic policy but has runs on the board, having supported Julia Gillard, despite being double-crossed by her over gambling reform. And Bob Katter has a unique perspective, he is pretty bad on climate change but he should be respected for some of his views.

So 4 out of 17 are very good at economics, another 4 are pretty good, 2 more are interesting, another 4 at least recognise the urgent need for decarbonisation, and the remaining 2 need to lift their game.

A stinking festering sore in the income tax system

Actually, there are many. This is just one of many that really sticks out.

If you are a top income earner and also have significant wealth, you are also probably one of those people who don’t like to pay income tax, or rather, prefer to pay as little tax as possible.

Here’s one way to do it: put your excess income into a self-managed super fund.

Let’s say you haven’t found another means to avoid the top marginal rate of income tax (45 cents in the dollar) and you are happy to keep your accumulated wealth until you retire. (If you are near to or over 60 that’s probably just around the corner anyway.)

So, putting your excess cash into super doesn’t hurt you at all, and once it is there: Bingo! the tax on any income from that wealth reduces to 15 cents in the dollar. A massive reduction in tax liability.

You won’t be alone, there are a few hundred people in Australia who hold around $50,000,000 plus in this sort of superannuation. The earnings from such wealth would be about $250,000 plus per year, and would otherwise be subject to taxation of $112,500 plus. But once they are over 60, those who have stashed this wealth into superannuation can spend this money as they wish without any further taxation.

If however, you are a low-income earner, earning say $40,000 a year, you must pay 19 cents in the dollar for each additional dollar you earn (and you almost certainly can’t afford to run a self-managed super fund). If you earn $40,001, you must pay 32.5 cents in the dollar, a massive amount more than Mr/Ms Moneypenny above.

It stinks.

If you want to go left, turn right

I don’t really want to comment on politics because I’m a political simpleton. Heck, I have never voted for any party that has won government. I once even voted for the Australia Party, the ‘keep the bastards honest’ Democrats, often for the Greens, a couple of times for Andrew Wilkie, once for the Sun-ripened Warm Tomato Party, and once for the Party Party Party Party.

But, the current appalling state of economic policy making in Australia makes me wonder what is required of politics in order to get on track for positive economic reform.

The problem, as I see it, is that we have a government that does not intend to undertake any significant action on economic reform. This situation has not essentially changed with the change of government last year.

Indeed, the current government’s economic policies are essentially the same as the previous one.

For instance, the most significant economic problem facing Australia is to do something meaningful to counter climate change. But there is no action, only meaningless targets for the distant future (when we will all be dead.) Australia’s Long Term Emissions Reduction Plan was written by the previous government. And so was Australia’s Technology Investment Roadmap. And so was Australia’s commitment to net zero carbon emissions by 2050.

I can go on. Tax policy for example. No change. Education – zilch. Social welfare – nada. Competition policy – nope. Defence – you have got to be kidding.

So, a bigger Labor government majority would not be a solution. That would simply be regarded as a vindication of their approach of being nothing different, just nicer.

Nor would a return to a Liberal-National coalition. (Unless you like nuclear power?)

Our cross-bench, on the other hand, is pretty impressive. But it has no real influence as long as one of the two major parties hold power. (Even Bob Katter is against privatisation.)

The answer, I have decided, is that Australia must swing right in the right way.

That is to say, that Australian Labor should lose three seats to right wing loonies. Sooner, rather than later.

The next election (2025) is too far away. Our best hope is for three marginal Labor members to resign from politics (to spend more time with their families), triggering by-elections that are won by the opposition. (More independents would be ok too.)

Then, the numbers in the Australian parliament would then be 75 Labor, 59 Coalition and 17 Cross-bench.

Labor has always declared that it won’t do deals to stay in government. But, you know what? They lie.

And, you know what also? Any cross-bench member that Labor does a deal with is likely to demand much more action on climate change.

It’s a long shot, but it seems to be our only hope.